Poem : I wish I could have told you

I wish I could have told you, when you were alive. 

(August 2008)

It was your eyes, and the spark on your face

Not showing your wounds to the entire human race

It was your grit and your determination

That taught us to believe in our own convictions

Telling us the differences between the wrongs and the rights
In the darkness, you were the light
Helping us overcoming our fright
With you around, it was a delight

When I was growing up, you were the hand that taught me to walk
And when I was learning to speak, you were the voice who encouraged me to talk
You showed us what it meant
To love and be loved by one and all…

As a child when I used to cry
My face used to light up by your smile
You were the one to wipe our tears
And with you around, nothing we feared

When you used to hold me in your arms
All I knew was, I was secure
The value of life we learned from you
The times when we were sad and feeling so blue
You were the balm that healed all wounds

I wish I had told this, when you were alive
But I was caught in the rut of life
Still that does not excuse me, for not telling you
For not being the hands, of walking you
For not being there when you breath your last
For not being your eyes, to show the clear blue skies
Or the pelting rain or the sunny afternoons

And you are now gone, never to return
A happy and loving family, like you, I hope I can churn
With you gone, life seems incomplete
Your value, I now seem to realize
I wish I was there when you breathe your last
Feelings of guilt and regret I can not hide
If only before walking out of the door, I had said good bye

But there were suitcases to pack
And a plane to catch
And yes, I thought, you would always be around
So I thought to wait until tomorrow or day after
To let you know that we care and love you in heaps and bound…

Wish I had told this, when you were alive
But I was caught in the rut of life
Still that does not excuse me, for not telling you
Words you have always wanted us to say
So I take this moment to tell you the words
I know you must have longed to heard
Nani (and Dadi) , I love you, always have
Forgive me if you can yours loving grand child ….